Info.: THE BEETLESS' GARDENING BOOK

An Organic Gardening Songbook/Guidebook (glossary [0]) (index [0]) (gardening guide [0])

Lyrics on this site are excerpted from The Beetless' Gardening Book, edited and annotated by Chris Roth, originally published 1997 by Carrotseed Press, copyright 1997 by Chris Roth, ISBN 0-9657080-2-7, Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 97-91588, containing the poetry of Jam Lemon, Pear Machete, Joychoi Heirloom, and Rutabaga Variety -- four lads who made organic gardening a household word once more.

DISCLAIMER: ON THE BEETLESS' POETIC LICENSE

In the tradition of Walt Whitman's Song of Myself, the "songs" in The Beetless' Gardening Book are not, in fact, songs per se, but poems. They are intended to sound particularly good when read or recited to a background of the specified Beatles tunes, but the idea that they are "songs" in themselves is merely a fiction, a gimmick, a metaphor, part of the satire.

This distinction is important because, while no-one can "own" the meter of a poem, the tunes of songs can be (and are) owned and protected by copyright. While written parodies, in verse form, are considered acceptable free speech, permission is required to record or publicly perform any copyrighted musical work, especially if it is given new lyrics. The current owners of the copyrights on the Beatles' songs do not allow any changes to the original lyrics in recordings or public performances.

Therefore, these poems may be used for private and small group amusement -- you may even find yourself modulating your pitch a bit as you read them -- but they may not be legally performed in any setting to which the general public has access (e.g. coffee houses, concert halls, football stadiums), nor recorded and offered to the public in any form (cd, vinyl, audio or video tape, etc.). Moreover, they are not intended as a substitute or competition for the music which inspired them. The Beetless strongly urge you to purchase all of the original Beatles albums which contain the background songs.

Sorry to start out on such a heavy note (sounds like E-flat to our ears). We just don’t want you (or ourselves) to get sued. The tone lightens up from here on out. We promise.

Thanks to the poetic license and good taste with which they pepper their work, the Beetless have brought joy to the world without causing anyone harm or legal agony. We owe them a debt of gratitude. Hats off!

BEATLES MUSIC COPYRIGHTS

All the original music and lyrics which form the intended backdrop for these Beetless poems were formerly Copyright 1963 to 1970 Northern Songs Ltd. and are currently Copyright Sony/ATV Songs LLC, all rights controlled and administered by EMI Blackwood Music Inc., under licence from Sony/ATV Songs LLC, (BMI) all rights reserved, international copyright secured, except:
LONG TALL SALLY Copyright 1956 Venice Music Inc., USA
LOVE ME DO Copyright 1962 MPL Communications
PLEASE PLEASE ME Copyright 1962 Dick James Music Ltd.
MISTER MOONLIGHT Copyright 1964 Lowery Music Company Inc., USA
PIGGIES Copyright 1968 Harrisongs Ltd.
OCTOPUS'S GARDEN Copyright 1969 Startling Music Ltd.
HERE COMES THE SUN Copyright 1969 Harrisongs Ltd.
and from the "Beetless Bootleg" section:
ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN Copyright 1956 Arc Music Corp., USA
ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC Copyright 1957 Arc Music Corp., USA
SLOW DOWN Copyright 1957 ATV Music Ltd.
WORDS OF LOVE Copyright 1957 MPL Communications Inc.
P.S. I LOVE YOU Copyright 1962 MPL Communications Inc.
SAVOY TRUFFLE, WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS Copyright 1968 Harrisongs Ltd.

FOREWORD

a hippidy sip
from the seed creed
a green scene
inbetween

The Beetless' Gardening Book
brings the seed creed up to speed
extols soil toil,
health wealth
the wiggly worm
and the fertile sperm

while the flood blood makes mud
cover crops stop the flop
of dumb dam deniers
fumbling fleeing fractals
in the harvest time of money.

we chant, rant and cant
to love the gift of life we grow
peace, transcendence and rice
do glow
sowing selection.

benedictions heavy
a ripe harvest grows

to put the clock beneath the ground
entropy crumbles the dust of human vanity.

-- Alan Kapuler, Ph.D.
Research Director, Seeds of Change
January 30, 1997, Corvallis, OR

INTRODUCTION

If music and gardening have one thing in common (and, of course, they have many things in common), it is that they are inherently participatory. The Beetless know this better than anyone else. Their singular contribution to the late-twentieth-century agri-/horti-/literary/pop cultural scene is contained in the volume you now hold in your hands. You will not fully appreciate it unless you find your own inner poetic voice, which sings quietly within your head even if it's too shy to be heard out loud. And neither will you fully understand or benefit from it unless you become involved in some manner with the production and/or appreciation of your own food.

Inspired by music that they and many of us know and love, the Beetless group formed specifically to write original poems to be read to a backdrop of some of the Beatles' most memorable tunes, which many of us still hum to ourselves to drown out the less pleasant sounds we are sometimes surrounded with. (As a lark, they sometimes call these poems "songs," and in this book we often indulge their own myth that they are in fact performers.)

In the 55 works contained herein they share many of the joys, challenges, and lessons they have derived from their many combined years of organic vegetable gardening in the Pacific Northwest. An exclusive appendix lists what we know about 43 additional "lost" songs (actually poems, of course) which we hope may one day be recovered.

This is not a regular, stodgy gardening book. It does not pretend to be complete. It acknowledges that gardening is a never-ending process of discovery. Its subversive pretext is that the poetry of everyday experience can tell us as much about gardening as charts, scientific formulas, and know-it-all advice. The Beetless don't know it all. They hope they never do. They hope, however, through these pages, to share some of the most important things they think they do know. If they have succeeded even partially in imparting knowledge, inspiration, useful tips, helpful perspectives, motivation for further exploration, tidbits of wisdom, or a few good belly laughs, they will have deemed themselves successful. If one person starts a garden, learns or tries something new, or is caused to wax poetic (perhaps with modulation of pitch) by these pages, the Beetless mission will be accomplished.

The editor's comments at the end of each lyric text seek to clarify potentially obscure references and illuminate the context from which the work arose. We trust these annotations will not be considered too intrusive. In addition, a bibliography/resource list, glossary, and index will aid studious Beetless fans in deciphering what their idols are so concerned with, and will facilitate self-education about these most vital subjects. (They can then test their knowledge through the two specially designed quizzes.)

A final reminder: throughout this work, the use of the word "song" is strictly metaphorical and satirical. In reality, the Beetless couldn't hold a tune if their lives depended on it. This hasn't stopped them from creating gardens and enjoying this collection. It shouldn't stop you either.