(Music: I'M A LOSER, Lennon-McCartney) (info./disclaimers [0]) (glossary [0]) (index [0]) (gardening guide [0])

I'm a shroomer
I'm a shroomer
I'm in love with mushrooms can't you see

Come every fall, once the rains really start
Sprout fruiting bodies dear to my heart
Bearing spores of fungi that live underground
Bursting through duff without making a sound

I'm a shroomer
In the forest I feel so free
I'm a shroomer
If you try it, I'm sure you'll agree

Here symbiotic relationships abound
Fungi feed roots, and the other way around
The trees give dry-season water and sap
Fungi bring nutrients from all over the map

I'm a shroomer
I'm almost sure of its edibility
I'm a shroomer
Unless it's not what it appears to be

Mycorrhizal fungi keep soil rich and alive
Help trees and microbes alike to survive
Saprophytes break down dead matter instead
And parasites will make live matter dead

I'm a shroomer
I'm surrounded by virility
I'm a shroomer
I'm in love with mushrooms can't you see

Comments: In this song the Beetless carefully avoid suggesting the harvesting of any particular mushroom species. In private conversation they recommend the purchase of a reliable field guide (such as David Aurora's Mushrooms Demystified, especially good in the Pacific Northwest) and multiple trips to field or forest with an experienced mushroomer before attempting anything on one's own. Their intention here is simply to awaken their listeners to the wonders of the mushroom world.

 
Excerpted from The Beetless' Gardening Book: An Organic Gardening Songbook/Guidebook, copyright 1997 by Chris Roth (info./disclaimers [0]) (glossary [0]) (index [0]) (gardening guide [0])