SHE SAID SHE COMPOSTED IN WINDROWS

(Music: SHE CAME IN THROUGH THE BATHROOM WINDOW, Lennon-McCartney) (info./disclaimers [0]) (glossary [0]) (index [0]) (gardening guide [0])

She said she composted in windrows
Sometimes in open piles too
She never used a bin or barrel
Or a thousand-dollar Compost Zoo

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
She was flaunting with convention
She was composting for free

She said she'd always been a chancer
Tried things to see if they would work
The way she stacked those piles so pretty
Was enough to drive me near berserk

And though it was a kind of artwork
It never seemed a difficult job
She simply layered greens and browns there
Kept them moist, but not waterlogged

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
Yesterday I think I saw her
Pour on half a jar of pee
Oh yeah

Comments: A standard compost song, in a predictably irreverent style. We feel that "she" and the Beetless have much in common. Certainly the Compost Zoo is equally unaffordable to all concerned. Alternating layers of nitrogen-rich greens and carbon-rich browns (with some organism-rich inoculant like manure, finished compost, or soil), in a compost pile of minimum size 4' x 4' x 4', will usually compost satisfactorily without turning. Undecomposed outside layers can be layered into a new pile. Moderate amounts of urine help break down the carbon in compost piles. The Rodale Book of Composting is a useful guide.